Loading...
Personal Statement Medic Mind Application
In 1954, Joseph Murray and J. Hartwell Harrison performed the first successful transplantation. This breakthrough is now considered a routine medical procedure; however new problems have arises, such as the limited access of donors leading to a long waiting time for patients. Medicine needs to develop constantly due to new challenges that appear every day, and so do doctors. This is what I find truly fascinating – the idea of life-span pursuit of knowledge and self-progress in order to help others thrive in good health. Connecting both science and a great dose of human interaction, I believe that medicine is the right pathway for me and I would be tremendously privileged to be able to study and practise it.
Throughout my work experience on a surgery ward I understood how important it is for a doctor to empathise with a patient and have the ability to listen. Once, when I went to the cardiac unit with a patient because she needed to have a heart echo scan done, she opened up to me and revealed that she was very scared of her health worsening. She needed to speak to somebody and hear the words of support; I realised that even a simple conversation with a patient can be of paramount importance. Another experience that I found thrilling was the observation of a laparoscopic cholecystectomy. I was impressed by the meticulously and precision of the surgeons, as well as the thorough organisation of the whole team. Clear and concise communication between professionals was key. During my observer ship in the surgical outpatient clinic I saw patients with various conditions. One patient was suffering from Buerger’s disease, caused partially by her addiction to smoking. She did not want to withdraw from that, which resulted in her toe being amputated due to necrosis. I learned that sometimes it is difficult to convince and motivate patients to act in their own interest; however, it is surely a skill that a doctor shall strive to possess.
My volunteering in a care home for the mentally ill involves organising memory trainings as well as engaging occupants with sport and creative activities. Communicating with people with disorders is much different from everyday communication – it taught me lots of patience and tranquility. Trying to encourage residents with phobias to come out of their rooms or those with dementia to work on their memory can be a challenging task, but the feeling when it comes off is candidly gratifying.
To broaden my understanding of being a doctor, I signed up for medicine workshops in my city. By listening to practitioners’ experiences, I had yet another opportunity to realise that medicine is both mentally and physically demanding but also truly rewarding. The most inspiring for me was the talk of professor Jerzy Sienko, who shared his experience about being a surgeon in Kenya. His booming enthusiasm and willingness to act for the benefit of others was what I genuinely admired. I also had a taster of studying medicine, learning techniques of suturing and basics of anatomy. Encouraged by this event, I took part in International Congress for Young Medical Scientists in Poznan. One of the lectures that I found particularly interesting concerned brain aneurysm. Beholding the performance of medical students during scientific sessions, I realised the necessity of advancements in research and importance of means of their conveyance. Choosing to write my extended essay in biology, I learned how to compose a scientific text, cite and perform statistical tests – skills that I observed to be essential for medical professionals at the conference. To stay abreast of ongoing research not only in medicine but science in general, I often read New scientist or Science Daily.
My extracurricular activities involve participation in Model United Nations conferences, which greatly improved my public speaking, simultaneously pushing me to think outside the box in finding solutions to real problems. I utterly enjoy the debate and teamwork involved. In my free time I try to keep active; one of my greatest hobby is playing tennis.
Knowing how onerous medicine is, I do believe that I have necessary motivation and will to enter this field and flourish in it.
Applying to: Oxford, Imperial, King’s, Liverpool
| Section | Rating / 10 | CNN |
| Introduction | 5 | You’ve gone for an unusual way to start a personal statement, which isn’t a bad idea given that it makes your personal statement less cliché and more memorable from the start. However, I think it needs to be more personal to you and your experiences. You have some interesting work experience on a surgical ward and the same style of introduction could be achieved discussing how the breakthrough of antibiotics or anaesthesia has facilitated modern surgery but how there are ongoing challenges to how these are applied (such an antibiotic resistance). This would flow nicely onto your experience on a surgical ward. This is an introduction style that Oxford will rate highly as long as you are thoroughly prepared to answer questions on it in the interview. |
| Work Experience | 7 | Work Experience: You have done well here to link your skills (e.g. good communication), your experience of this (e.g. the multidisciplinary surgical team) and its relevance to medicine (e.g. the cholecystectomy). Keep linking these 3 aspects as much as you can for the other important aspects of being a doctor that you have mentioned (empathy, patience, teamwork, public speaking). As a general rule, using mentioning one of these important aspects/buzzwords in only one aspect (your skill, your experience or its relevance to medicine) feels quite hollow in comparison to paragraphs that explore them through all 3. Having said this you have made some excellent comments about patients acting against their own interests and doctors needing to be there for patients at their most vulnerable points. It is always useful to link work experience to your motivation for medicine, so keep working on making links between the two. Also, make sure that you revise everything you mentioned before any interview, as they may ask further questions about the things you mentioned! |
| Conclusion | 7 | Conclusion: You’ve kept it short and sweet which is fine because you’ve said what most people say for their concluding remark. The conclusion is similar to the introduction – make it engaging but it can be quite short. |
| Language Style | 7 | Language Style: (INSERT PERSONAL COMMENT). There are some grammatical mistakes and odd stylistic choices in terms of the phrasing that I have given suggestions for. You want your phrasing to be concise to free up words (this will be especially useful for fleshing out the parts towards the end about problem-solving and teamwork and why a doctor may need these qualities) It is always a fine balance with language style. You want to be formal, but don’t use a thesaurus on every other word – sometimes simple language helps to get the point across better. |
| Motivation for Medicine | 5 | Motivation for Medicine: You haven’t really answered the question ‘why do you want to do medicine?’ here. You mainly talk about what qualities you have/aspire to have that would make you a good doctor (which is very important to include) while the idea that you want to do medicine is assumed throughout and no clear reason is given for it. Was there a particular experience of healthcare (as an observer, patient or family member of a patient etc.) that inspired you to pursue this as a career? Over the whole piece you need to show not only that you are good enough for medicine, but that you actually care for it. Remember, this has to be reiterated throughout, from the passion for your work experience, to the interest in science, to your desire to help people. |
| Extra Curricular | 3 | Extra-Curricular: This was covered quite briefly almost as an afterthought and really needs to be fleshed out a lot more. You say that you like Model United Nations conferences and detail some of the skills involved. However, you have not said why these skills are relevant for medicine (I want you to show me that you know that they are important with specific examples). This section depends heavily on the universities you are applying for. If you are applying to Oxbridge, they may not look at this paragraph much. However, this doesn’t mean that you don’t include it, as it will cost you for your other universities. It is good to link back the skills from the extra-curricular activities you do to the skills of a doctor you observed at work experience. |
| Overall | 7 | Word Count and Moving Forward I have tried to rephrase any sentences that have unconcise aspects to free up some of the word count for you. Make sure that you use every word available! Moving forward, I would recommend going through each line of your PS, and working out which lines actually add to your application. Each paragraph needs to be selling you to the university. This doesn’t mean you make every line a description of a quality of yours – it still needs to flow nicely! But if you need to cut words just work through line by line and find which ones add less. |
Was this article helpful?
Still got a question? Leave a comment
Leave a comment